How It Happens— Meeting Cancer

“You have cancer, but the good news is that we’ve caught it early.” GREAT. That sounded like good news, but I didn’t quite understand it. How is it that, if catching my cancer early was such a good thing (although it IS and WAS actually a really great thing), then why is it that each of the signature options for treatment—lumpectomy, with the probability of radiation for months, and/or rounds of chemotherapy or the aggressive surgery that mastectomy entails— followed by 5 - 10 years of estrogen blocking medication thereafter—

EVERY OPTION coming with their own taxing side affects, (that may affect you forever)—
It all seems to be so dire for what was caught early???

And what was the cause of my cancer? Was my being an African American woman a factor? It didn’t seem to matter that I had been previously healthy, physically fit, and in the wellness industry. Overall, I ate healthily (except when I so often reverted to my five-year-old self), yet also the fact that cancer had not run in my family didn’t seem to matter either. My stage II breast cancer had been sneaky, slowly growing and feeding on my estrogen. *Cue music: “Luck Be a Lady Tonight*

Suddenly, my lizard brain was off to wondering whether it was a bad decision to have rescheduled my GYN appointment to enjoy myself on that amazing yoga retreat in Italy, even though I wasn’t even aware of the cancer then? You begin to second guess everything, and feel sick in a completely different way.

I was lucky. Some define luck as the occurrence of preparation meeting opportunities. I was not only lucky, I was blessed as well. I strongly believe in both. For this reason and more, I’ve not, for any minute, held any regret for my trip to Italy. Cancer or not, none of us know how long we have, so you have to live the time you have in your life. I was happy that I had moved my GYN appointment and had my Italian experience and time with friends. I could not have foreseen receiving a diagnosis ahead of me, and I got to see the landscapes and art up close that I had dreamt about seeing, and yoga is a part of my living. It has offered me much perspective.

Beginning with the early detection of my cancer, I would not know exactly how continued blessings of my established systems of support would present themselves or play out. Yet, it was clear that I had been graced with personal agency and instincts, family, friends, and a practical yoga practice that showed up. It was not easy. Even in my many years of yoga practice, and strong family support, I was not sure how I was actually going to get through this experience. It wasn’t that I doubted my support, it was more that I couldn’t envision how it would work. I had that moment where I was like, “Teri, you’ve been teaching a lot about practical yoga and process. You’re about to really find out if you believe it or not.” I sat myself down and looked at where I was, got humble, accepted my reality, meditated, drew on my practice, listened to myself, my team and thank goodness, it all kicked in. My cancer met my yoga.

*This has been Excerpt #2 + pre-view of my book. Join my list for updates and download my free guide.