What’s Going On— Begins With You, Not Cancer

I’ve learned that your secret weapon is activated when you’ve established or have begun working on a personal foundation and understanding of who you are, how you function, and what your needs are. Some of that is strongly related to our connections, how we view ourselves and our bodies, and the relationship we have to it. These relationships are directly related to how we experience our connection to the world around us. No matter your gender, body image is something that we begin to deal with as kids. From childhood, you have to learn to define yourself because our society boldly attempts to tell and even “sell you” on who you are, causing one to be unhappy with your own body. Remember, these things are influenced by the internal battles that occur during the middle school years, and ultimately mold our perspectives on aging. 

For that reason, in hindsight, I believe it can be helpful to have complete clarity about where you come from, though it’s not mandatory. I don’t believe I did, or it changed and developed over time. As you’re reading this, consider who you are, and the wide range of life struggles and annoyances that you’ve worked through to be where you are at this stage of life. Some of the rough patches were larger than others, yet each one of them has had enough of an impact to literally change, and shape you into who you’ve become. It will continue to do so. Allow the power of that realization to sink in. 

Whether you’ve ever lost your job, gone through the heartbreak or disruption of a divorce, or lived through the pain of abruptly losing a loved one— you’ve probably had enough life experience to hold the compassion necessary to begin to understand how shocking the sudden impact that a life threatening event can have. Cancer is isolating, and excruciatingly disorienting. This threat to life stops us in our tracks and leaves us longing for what was, no matter how sucky our situations had appeared to be the day before diagnosis. Suddenly, there’s a divide between what’s important, and what’s not. Like that belly roll and the extra pounds that shaped our body image as an unforgivable imperfection, post diagnosis this becomes viewed as absolute perfection. That’s some perspective, and it shifts with the ever changing times.

We get hung up on a lot of crap that doesn’t really matter much, which is pretty ridiculous, but we’re human, and that’s how we roll. 

Life challenges us to develop and nurture ourselves, the personal ways in which we deal with our lives, each disappointment, and our distress on a daily basis. No matter when, or how the hardships occur, it’s precisely in these tough moments, (and any moment really), where, if we can stand up, committed, and grounded within ourselves, we can gain power and a deeper understanding of life and who we are. Simultaneously we can establish an enriched relationship with the powerful parts of ourselves. It’s not easy, but it’s time for you to get there by being intentional about understanding your resilience. What does it look like? Where does it come from? Don’t run from how you feel while on this journey, as it forges the trajectory and expanse of your story. Allow all the good, bad, ugly, deep and honest feelings to flow. It’s important that you do this entire dance completely as your true self—whatever that means. Permission to be yourself is mandatory, and it’s also beneficial to look at your beginning.

*This has been Excerpt #1 + pre-view of my book. Join my list for updates and download my free guide.