Managing Feelings of Depression Due to Cancer

It takes an act of courage to take that first step in showing up for yourself. It takes even more to show up with consistency in all areas of your life. Before, during and after cancer, the challenge and the gift is in embodying the truth of who you are in your very real and human moments. No matter your state, it takes a concerted effort to show up authentically as yourself and to participate in your own self-care.

Keep in mind that this is exactly what you would want for your nearest and dearest friend.

When we lose the reality that once was, it is like experiencing a death. There are many emotions and thoughts to manage. The five stages of grief to work through during this time are denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. As I previously stated, I immediately hit the denial stage upon diagnosis by questioning the validity of my medical chart. From there, I quickly slid into dealing with anger on all levels as a result of the imposition of cancer, my fears, and because the doctor’s appointment was not issuing the glowing bill of health that I had expected. Seeking a second opinion, though an act of self-preservation, was a sort of Hail Mary— my denial of, and an effort in bargaining away the possibility of a cancer diagnosis. There was an irrational hope that another doctor may not consider it to be cancer at all.  So what’s the answer??

With cancer, these stages are particularly tricky because there isn’t anyone or anything that we can blame or reason with concerning a solution. This is hard because there may be a natural inclination to lash out at whomever is to blame, but that road is a harmful dead end. Even harder is the impulse for healing to happen, which comes in many different forms. There has to be a resolve, or a contract made within yourself. In my experience, which I’m happy to be sharing with you in these pages, was an abrupt disconnect from my body that I had to mend, as well as a wounding of my ego that required a resetting and settling of my mind. Luckily, my practice offered some clarity for that.

‘Yogas Chittas Vrtti Nirodhaha’ — Yoga Sutra 1:2
Translation: Yoga happens when the heart and mind are settled.

Therefore, it’s important to be aware of what your pitfalls are, and how you respond to them. When sadness affects me, I make conscious efforts to skirt depression. It has helped me to have rules and a plan with accessible tools to reach for in a pinch.

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